Breaking the silence
I know I have been quiet. Too quiet. I started this blog wanting to write what I am experiencing, but I didn't know where to start. Like the blank piece of paper I wish I could be; yet I am not.
Bonnie Jensen from Dayspring writes, "When we take time to record memories, journal our prayers, and write down our thoughts, we truly give ourselves a gift to be opened over and over again...
Yet I fear being open, vulnerable, susceptible to hurts. I don't like it.
The existence of my invisible bottle was discovered by Bea. I store most of whatever that goes through my heart and brain in that limited vessel I hold so unimaginably tight to myself.
Through the sorrows, grief, pressure, expectations, I was on the brink of breaking down but I remained silent (in fact, various times in between the past years). This time, it was concentrated with multiple blows within 2 weeks. So I had to do something. I stripped myself of something. Finally.
I have to say this to some of you... The unreturned sms-es, msn 'hi's, letters and e-mails were un-intentional. Like you, I have no idea how to answer those questions either. And there are just times I just need or want to be alone. Maybe I am just different from you. Eugene reminded me that we are not created or wired this way - to bottle everything up. Yea. I do know I have to kick that bad habit soon.
5 scribbles:
Yes dear we are all created uniquely and perhaps for you, you dun really share that much. But you must know we are always there for you. =) It's all right for the un-returned sms, his, letters and emails. Point is when you are ready and comfortable to share, just look for any of us. Take care!
Jan,
You know never once i minded any of your un-returned sms etc... but whta is important to me is you are turly happy with your state of life... the choice is yours but my door for you has always been open and always will be.. shoulder for you to lean on, a listneing ear if you require.. as long as you need it. But yes, you really need to get out of this circle.. Awaiting to helpe you BREAK your bottle.. Love, Bea.
*you're a genie in a bottle..*
hehe.
i've missed you and hope yu r happy dear. see you soon.
Jia You Jan! Remember and believe these k?
Jan and JOY goes together!
Jan and BREAKTHROUGH goes together!
Jan and HOPE goes together!
Jan and LOVE goes tohether!
Jan and HAPPINESS goes together!
hei Jan=)
"No man (or woman, in your case) is a failure who has friends."
i havent known you long enough or well enough, but i do know you have many friends who care about you.
you are blessed. =) i'm glad to have met you.
Have a good Christmas and New Year!
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